Don’t Have Mercy on Me, Baby

I was just reading a friend of mine’s blog, and she commented that one of the things she finds most erotic about D/s is to “feel sadism tempered with mercy in a scene, to feel that someone will hold himself back in order to keep me safe.” I love my friend dearly, but about this point I must heartily disagree. There’s nothing I like better than when He reaches that precipice- where I’m desperate and flailing and losing myself- and pushes me right the fuck over.


I’ve had a long day. Work has been tedious, and the chores pile up when I’m away. We’re almost out of laundry detergent and I keep trying to hold on to my mental note to pick some more up before I have to miss a load and get the shit beat out of me. But it’s late now- too late to go to the store, I think- and I lay down on the couch to relax. I throw my legs up and lean back on the pillows- propping my laptop up on my lap and surfing through the day’s events and gossip I’ve been missing out on. I should have been paying more attention.

He is on top of me before I realize what’s happening. I must not have noticed His approach, or Him unzipping and pulling down His pants. He already has His cock rammed halfway down my throat before my mind catches up to the present and grasps what is going on. I start to gag from the position I’m in- crushed down into the couch- and beg to be let up. “Fine, bitch,” He smirks, “get the fuck over here then.” He grabs me by the hair and drags me over to His desk and forces me down on my knees.

That’s when He starts to beat me. One smack and then the other across my face. When I move my hand up to block one of His blows, I immediately realize it was a mistake. He growls out in fury and rains blows down on me twice as fast and twice as hard. I start crying and He tells me to quit my snivelling. It occurs to me- not for the first time- that He really doesn’t care about me, that I’m a fool to believe anything else, and that I really am doomed to get used and abused by this Man for the rest of my life.

Soon my mouth is back on His cock. His hands are behind my head- shoving me down forcefully over and over on His dick. Drool runs out the corners of my mouth uncontrollably and drip down over His crotch. My throat gags and retches, but I have no choice but to try and keep the bile down or else I may suffocate on it. At the last moment, He begins to groan and pulls my head back and off Him harshly by my hair. His dick is now hanging over me and His cum shoots out all over my face. Some streams hit me in the eye, other clog up my nose and drip into my open mouth. I sputter as I try to breathe through my nose and find that bubbles of cum are blocking the airways. Normally, ejaculation marks the end of His fury- or at least a steep dropping off point. But this time… this time was different.

“You stupid fucking bitch!” He seethes, and grabs me up by the collar. I’m weak and limp by this point and am barely able to resist. He lifts my body off the ground and onto my feet. Then- in the midst of trying to swallow and take a breath- He grips me around the neck. Both hands squeeze around my throat in an iron grip. My eyes go wide as I try to finish my half-swallow, half-breath and fail- choking on it instead. Faintly I’m aware of the splatters of cum covering my face that are now slowly making their way down to my chin in thick drips, creeping almost down onto His hands. Ignoring this, and without changing His grip even an inch- He throws me up against the wall. He’s squeezing and squeezing and all I can think about is how I wasn’t able to finish that swallow. My head starts to feel like a balloon filling up with air, and my peripheral vision starts to dim. My thoughts become jumbled and I no longer seem able to focus on anything, anything at all. Part of me feels that precipice- feels myself standing over it, and Him standing behind me, getting ready… to… push.

I don’t remember the fall.

I wake up on the ground. I have no idea where, or when, I am. I am high as a kite- and a wonderful tingling passes over my whole body that makes me feel like a live wire. My crotch is on fire. It dimly occurs to me that I’d passed out. He’d held me up against the wall and choked me til I passed out. That realization makes my groin burn so deperately that I have a hard time keeping my hands off myself. I catch the words- “Oops, bitch. Looks like you fell down.” And, “Get out of my sight, you twat.” Then finally, what I was dying to hear, “Cum if you want- you stupid fucking cunt.”

“But first- go clean that shit off your face. You look like a used condom.”

9 Responses to “Don’t Have Mercy on Me, Baby”

  1. 1 leahl June 21, 2009 at 11:59 pm

    Ah, good times… Good times.

  2. 2 Bean June 25, 2009 at 4:12 pm

    There is absolutely no safe way to choke someone safely. Letting go when you pass out does not guarantee that you will not asphyxiate to death.

    I’m asking you seriously: do you really want to die? There is a good chance you will in the future if he keeps this up.

    I know you are probably not going to listen, but this situation is still reversible – you can still get out and find someone else who will be “extreme” in a way which does not involve risk of serious injury or your death.

    • 3 veralynne June 25, 2009 at 5:22 pm


      I appreciate your concern- but you must realize that many people in BDSM engage in breathplay and do not consider it “extreme”.

      And beyond that- why would I want to “get out”? I would never want to be with a man that wouldn’t choke me- and usually it’s a struggle to convince most guys to do it.

      I’m not looking to die- but in the very rare chance that I did- is there any better way to do it? Heh.

      • 4 Bean June 25, 2009 at 7:39 pm

        I do realize that, and I think they’re fools.

        I don’t think it’s an unlikely chance; but obviously, I cannot make that choice for you. I wish you luck, anyway.

      • 5 veralynne July 1, 2009 at 4:10 pm

        If you insist on pontificating about the dangers of BDSM activities- there are probably much better places for you to do so. I can understand worrying about other people, but you’re not going to win over a lot of hearts and minds with phrases like “I do realize that, and I think they’re fools.” However, if caring about others isn’t really your motive- and you just enjoy spouting off on random people’s blogs, well then- I think that might just make you an asshole.

        So spare the rhetoric and insults- if you really want to talk about something openly and respectfully, that’s fine. If not- I’d appreciate it if you took your preaching elsewhere.

      • 6 slutkendra July 1, 2009 at 8:23 am

        veralynne, do what you like. we are what we are.

  3. 7 slutkendra July 2, 2009 at 5:20 am

    i agree. it is our business what we do.

  4. 8 Beautiful-Bitch July 30, 2009 at 7:49 am

    Thank you for sharing your experience.
    I don’t usually read femsub blogs unless they are lesbian as I am a Bi Domme but I enjoyed your story so much I had to comment.

    And to Bean – I’m sure your comment was meant with kindness but a lecture is not going to have the desired effect.

    Hopefully all who delve into breath play have done their research and know how to minimize risks – sure, there are risks, but these days more risk of death walking home from the train of a night time IMO .

    • 9 veralynne July 30, 2009 at 11:37 pm

      I’m glad you enjoyed it. I really need to work on updating it more regularly 🙂 And I love females as well so… 😉

      I agree with what you said about breathplay. It’s impossible to take zero risks in life- and even if it were possible, that would be a very boring life to live indeed.

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